The Canada Moist Talkers are a Blaseball team that debuted in the Chaotic Evil division of the Evil League. After the High Filter decree passed in the election following Season 5, they were in the Mild High division of The Mild League, moving to the Mild Low division after the Season 10 election. They have been a part of Internet League Blaseball since Season 1.
- Eugenia Garbage
- Ziwa Mueller
- Cedric Spliff
- Commissioner Vapor
- Jesús Koch
- Beans McBlase
- Alston Cerveza
- Lachlan Shelton
- Fish Summer
- York Silk
- Trevino Merritt (Season 2, Day 72; replaced by Simon Haley)
- Kennedy Alstott (Season 3, Day 19; replaced by Lachlan Shelton)
- Tyler Violet (Season 3, Day 44; replaced by Ziwa Mueller)
- Elijah Bates (Season 7, Day 32; replaced by Kiki Familia)
- Kiki Familia (Season 7, Day 33; replaced by Quack Enjoyable)
- Antonio Wallace (Season 7, Day 33; replaced by Beans McBlase)
- Workman Gloom (Season 7, Day 81; replaced by Commissioner Vapor)
- Joe Voorhees (Season 4, Day 28; replaced by Workman Gloom)
- Richmond Harrison (Season 6, Day 19; replaced by Fish Summer)
- Lachlan Shelton (Season 6, Day 23; replaced by Antonio Wallace)
- Hobbs Cain (Season 6, Day 82; replaced by Alston Cerveza)
- Quack Enjoyable (Season 8, Day 42; Replaced by Cedric Spliff)
- Eugenia Garbage (Season 8, Day 44; replaced by Lachlan Shelton)
- Simon Haley (Season 8, Day 44; replaced by Eugenia Garbage)
- Ortiz Morse (Season 9, Day 53; replaced by Jaylen Hotdogfingers)
- Jaylen Hotdogfingers (Season 9, Day 64; replaced by Beasley Gloom)
Blessings and Trades
- In Season 1, the Moist Talkers finished third in the Chaotic Evil Division, missing the playoffs by only two games.
- In Season 2, the Moist Talkers were swept in the first round of the playoffs by the Philly Pies, 3-0 (Best of 5).
- In Season 3, the Moist Talkers were eliminated in the first round of the playoffs by the Philly Pies, 3-2 (Best of 5).
- In Season 4, the Moist Talkers were blessed by Questioning Their Every Decision in the Season 4 Elections, which caused their opponents in the Chaotic Evil division to have impaired vibes by 7%.
- In Season 8 election, the Moist Talkers received the Barrel of Tiny Eggs blessing, causing 10000 peanuts to be granted to each of their fans.
- In the Season 9 election, the Moist Talkers received the Boatload of Tiny Eggs blessing, granting 10,000 peanuts to their fans, and the Tag Team Hitting blessing, which improved their hitting and that of the Unlimited Tacos by 10%. They were subjected to Targeted Shame and Fifth Base.
- In the Season 10 election, the Moist Talkers received the Divisional Swap blessing, moving them to the Mild Low division in exchange for the Philly Pies. They also benefited from the effects of the Shadow Ban Together blessing won by the Charleston Shoe Thieves, boosting their shadows by 3%.
- In the Season 11 elections, the Moist Talkers were assigned the Arcana V The Pope.
| COMMUNITY LORE|
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
For a more in-depth look at the team, see Canada Moist Talkers/History
The mouth in the Moist Talkers logo is modeled after Tom DeLonge, noted musician, Canadian, and UFO Researcher.
- Season 1 - THE MAW
- Season 2 - Belligerent Phlegm Receptacle
- Season 3 - The Moist Owlette
- Season 4 - The Tantric Shrimp
- Season 5 - H O R K
- Season 6 - Gigantamax Inflatable and Jerry The Intern
- Season 7 - The ORB
- Season 8 - Buddy
- Season 9 - None
- Season 10 - The Husk
- Season 11 - FASHION™®©
For a more in-depth look at fan culture, see Canada Moist Talkers/Fan Culture.
The Canada Moist Talkers' fans have plenty of chants to scream out while in the stands of a blaseball arena. Notably, most of the chants involve a large amount of spitting.
- Talk Spit, Get Hits
- One Mouth, a lotta spit
For more, including player-specific chants, see Chants.
- In the 57th game of Season 2 in a game against the Hellmouth Sunbeams, the Moist Talkers found themselves down 3-0 in the bottom of the 7th inning. Their collective backs against the wall, they hunkered down and scored one run each in the seventh, eighth, and ninth inning to send the game into extra innings. The run scored in the ninth inning was due to the team's loose cannon, Trevino Merritt, stealing home with two outs while the team was down 3-2. The Moist Talkers went on to win the game in thirteen innings, by a score of 5-3.
- In the 96th game of Season 2 in a game against the Seattle Garages, the Moist Talkers hit two grand slams in the bottom of the third inning, off of the bats of Hobbs Cain and Richmond Harrison respectively. The team put up 13 runs in the inning, which is an Internet Blaseball League record. They would go on to win the game by a score of 18-3, and clinch a spot in the IBL Playoffs.
- The Player's favourite television program is H2O: Just Add Water.
On the Material Plane
- In a speech prior to Season 1, Canadian prime minister Justin Trudeau advised the nation that wearing a mask can prevent Canadians from “speaking moistly” to each other, a clear yet subtle nod to the team despite the apparent chronological discrepancy.