Lovers Art by @validtine, Garages Art by @MLeeLunsford

Jaylen Hotdogfingers is a pitcher for the San Francisco Lovers and has been with the team since the Season 10 elections. Hotdogfingers has previously played for THE SHELLED ONE'S PODS, Hall Stars, Charleston Shoe Thieves, Seattle Garages, Philly Pies, and Canada Moist Talkers. Hotdogfingers is best known for being the first Blaseball player to be incinerated due to fans Opening the Forbidden Book, as well as the first player to be returned to life after incineration. She is also the first known player to have died twice in Internet League Blaseball history after returning to The Hall following the conclusion of the Season 10 regular season.

Official League Records

Debut and Historic Incineration

Hotdogfingers joined the league in Season 1, playing for the Seattle Garages. Hotdogfingers was considered a star player with a pitching stat of ★★★★ .

At the Season 1 Election Results, Hotdogfingers became the first Blaseball player ever incinerated, as well as the only player ever incinerated outside of an active game. This incineration occurred due to The Forbidden Book opening by Decree. Hotdogfingers was seemingly chosen at random, as no part of the decree indicates that it would directly target the Garages or their best pitcher.

Idolization and Resurrection

In Season 6, following the introduction of the Idols leaderboard, Hotdogfingers began to climb the idol rankings to the #14 position, despite belonging to Null Team.

Jaylen14Null.jpeg

Many fans coordinated to keep Hotdogfingers in the #14 position for several days; specifically in order to exploit the Season 6 blessing called Lottery Pick, which would "steal the 14th Most Idolized Player in the League." This plan worked as expected, with Hotdogfingers returning from incineration to become a full-fledged player in the Garages' pitching rotation. Meanwhile, Mike Townsend left the active rotation and "RETREAT[ED] TO SHADOWS." Hotdogfingers gained the modifications Returned and Debted, as well as the unique pregame ritual, "Checking their pulse," foreshadowing a terrible cost to bringing them back.

Return to Blaseball

On Season 7, Day 5, Hotdogfingers stepped up to the mound for the first time since their return from The Void. In their first game against the Kansas City Breath Mints, they hit three batters with their pitching — Dickerson Morse, Stew Briggs, and Marquez Clark — giving them the Weekly-duration modification Unstable, which was unknown at the time. After the game ended, The Commissioner tweeted "PAYMENTS PENDING"[1], implying that this is how they will pay off the cost of being returned to the land of the living. Hotdogfingers continued to hit batters while they are on the mound during Season 7, the full list of which can be seen on the Hit by Pitch table.

Debt Payment

On Season 7, Day 32, in the Tigers vs. Moist Talkers game, a chain of incinerations occurred directly related to the Unstable modification spread to players by Hotdogfingers. Earlier, on Day 30, Hotdogfingers had hit Moody Cookbook and Mclaughlin Scorpler with pitches. Cookbook was the first player incinerated in the Day 32 game. At this point, Unstable spread to Elijah Bates, and revealed the function of Unstable, which causes players to have a much higher chance of being incinerated during a Solar Eclipse. Bates was incinerated next, spreading Unstable to Yazmin Mason. A second chain started with Scorpler, who was incinerated and passed Unstable to Antonio Wallace.

After this unusually fiery game, The Commissioner tweeted once more, this time saying "PAYMENT PROCESSED//OUTSTANDING BALANCE"[2], indicating that the incineration of Unstable players is the price of returning Jaylen Hotdogfingers from the void.

Refinancing

During Season 8, after striking some kind of deal with The Microphone, Hotdogfingers' Debt became Refinanced, and their pitches now had a chance to instill the Flickering modification instead, making players more susceptible to Feedback swaps. Later in the season, after being idolized into one of the microphone slots on the idols leaderboard, Hotdogfingers became permanently Flickering themself.

Consolidation

At the start of Season 9, Hotdogfingers' debt became Consolidated. This caused their pitches to have a chance to give the modification Repeating, making players bat repeatedly in reverb weather.

Season 9 Trades

On Season 9, Day 7, Hotdogfingers joined the Philly Pies due to a Feedback swap with Betsy Trombone. On Day 21, Hotdogfingers returned to the Seattle Garages due to a Feedback swap with Henry Marshallow. On Day 53, Hotdogfingers swapped to the Canada Moist Talkers due to a Feedback swap with Ortiz Morse. Finally, on Day 64, Hotdogfingers swapped to the Charleston Shoe Thieves due to a Feedback swap with Beasley Gloom.

Season 9 Elections

During the Season 9 election, Hotdogfingers received the Friend of Crows modification due to the passing of the Forecast: Birds decree. Shortly before the start of Season 10, The Microphone tweeted "she can have the shares"[3] and Hotdogfingers lost the modification Consolidated Debt.

Season 10 Postseason

See the main article on this topic: Season_10#Notable_Events
At the conclusion of the Season 10 regular season, Hotdogfingers sat in the 14th spot on the Idol Leaderboard, which showed a feedback microphone. When Day 99 turned over to the waiting hour for the Wild Card round, Hotdogfingers swapped with the 14th place player on The Hall leaderboard, Tillman Henderson, making Hotdogfingers the first player in ILB history to die twice.

During the events of Season 10, Day X, Hotdogfingers was raised to join the Hall Stars, then was repeatedly exchanged between the Hall Stars and THE SHELLED ONE'S PODS due to Feedback caused by the Fliickerrriiing modification. Hotdogfingers ultimately settled on the THE SHELLED ONE'S PODS, replaced by Axel Trololol. Following the dispersal of the PODS during the Season 10 elections, Hotdogfingers joined the San Francisco Lovers as a pitcher.

Coffee Cup

During the Coffee Cup, Hotdogfingers played for Heavy FC as a pitcher.

Personal Life

COMMUNITY LORE

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Jaylen Hotdogfingers was the former mayor of both Seattle and Dark-Seattle, as well as trumpet player for the Seattle Garages Big Bops Band, and whistleblower involved in the Partytime Papers. Her incineration has made her the only mayor in Seattle history who did not finish their term due to a splorts-related incident rather than a terrible political scandal. Unlike the other instances of incineration, Hotdogfingers' loss was not caused by the direct intervention of an Umpire. Her final words were, "We just gotta make it to the playoffs."

Reelection Campaign

Poster advocating for the return of Hotdogfingers, by @Spiral_Joe

With the advent of idols in Season 6, a group referring to itself as the "Mayor Hotdogfingers Reelection Campaign" has been steadily growing in size and influence. Akin to a cult, their goal is to exploit the rules of particular Blaseball blessings to return Hotdogfingers from the great unknown. While Hotdogfingers is most beloved by Garages fans, members of the Reelection Campaign suprisingly hail from blaseball fandoms across the land. Whether these other fans seek a new mayor for their own city, or merely crave chaos, is unclear at this time.

Reelection is a taboo subject among Garages fans for a variety of reasons: While Hotdogfingers has many die-hards among fans who are eager to bring her back, many still are opposed. Detractors fear what strange powers she would bring back from the afterlife, what repercussions the Garages would invite from tampering with forbidden powers, or simply because "polite" Seattle society tends to frown upon the practice of necromancy (blaseball-related or otherwise). Fellow Garages pitcher and occultist Ron Monstera warned in an interview to Splorts Illustrated that "the gates of Valhalla only open when Ragnarok is upon us, which is why it is safer to alter the timeline so that she never died at all."

As of Day 37 of Season 6, it seemed clear that the Reelection Campaign's plans are proceeding swiftly, and Hotdogfingers will indeed be crowned mayor once again soon. Mayor of what, exactly, is anyone's guess.


The Return

On the day of the Season 6 Elections, the remaining original members of the Season 1 Seattle Garages, aided by key players from both the Canada Moist Talkers and Yellowstone Magic, gathered in Seattle in order to enact a ritual they had devised based on discoveries made in the wake of Caligula Lotus' near-incineration. Taking advantage of the Idolatry present by the Jaylen Hotdogfingers Re-Election Campaign, they conducted a ritual on the pitcher's mound of the Garages' home stadium, The Big Garage.

In doing so, a colossal portal to the Void - a liminal, empty, endless space - was opened. Immediately, the Seattle Garages members tasked Mooney Doctor of the Canada Moist Talkers and Francisco Preston of the Yellowstone Magic in holding the portal open as they drove a tour bus into the Void to rescue Hotdogfingers.

Mooney Doctor and Francisco Preston assisting in the ritual, by @Spiral_Joe

What happened next to the Seattle Garages has been the topic of much speculation. When asked, they could not directly confirm many major details of their voyage. "Here's the thing about the Void." Seattle Garages' occultic expert Ron Monstera said in the aftermath. "It's a real [mess]ed up place. None of us who went in there really know what the hell was going on after we crossed the threshold."

Other members of the team corroborate Monstera's reports on the subject, as none can clearly remember exactly what happened once they entered the Void, and what they do remember is, at best, conflicting, with the exception of Arturo Huerta's account. Huerta's account has since been lost due to an unforeseen error with the recording equipment, but Monstera's own remarks on Huerta's verbal recollection of events were "Yeah, that sounds right."

Nevertheless, some amount of time later, the van returned with all members intact, chased by flame and ash, and once the van was stopped, pitcher Mike Townsend was seen exiting, carrying a massive egg. When set down on the pitcher's mound, the egg cracked and hatched, revealing the once-incinerated Jaylen Hotdogfingers.

After being given the medical green-light to see others, and to play in the upcoming season of Blaseball, Hotdogfingers had this to say in the wake of her return:

"How it feels to be home? So we're starting with the loaded questions right of the bat. Cool. Uh, well it feels weird. You know how sometimes when you're half asleep your dream keeps going but you're aware of your surroundings? It feels like that. It feels like life is going on around me and I'm there, but not all the way. Like I could slip into somewhere else any second. It's scary sometimes. I keep taking my pulse. I feel like I should be a ghost. Im sorry... is this real? I... can't tell anymore."

The interview was then cut short by Acting Seattle Garages Captain Theodore Duende, but batter Lang Richardson stopped to comment afterwards. "Well, 'swounds, of course she's still reeling from the emotional turmoil of it all! We love Jaylen with all our heart, and I know she still loves us. Twoud be aghast to think she'd come back all smiles and sunshine. I'm sure she'll get there in time, but that, ultimately, is what she needs: time."

The Aftermath of Ruby Tuesday

As the season began, many noticed Hotdogfingers' new quirk of occasionally hitting batters with balls, given them the status of Unstable. Fans noted whenever Hotdogfingers pitched what they began calling "bean balls", she would get a wild look in her eyes, and would snap out of it just after, looking confused. No one was quite sure what to think of Hotdogfingers' bean balls, some cheering for them, others cautioning against it. Hotdogfingers couldn't be reached for comment on the matter. The nature of the beanings wouldn't become clear until Day 32, which has come to be known as Ruby Tuesday. During a match between the Hades Tigers and the Canada Moist Talkers, three players succumbed to incineration at the hands of Hotdogfingers' Unstable effects. Hotdogfingers quickly put out a statement expressing condolences to the teams impacted, and clarifying she had no control over the harmful pitches she threw; she was at the behest of the gods whims. Hotdogfingers' demeanor changed for the remainder of the season, appearing devastated after coming to from pitching beans. She was reported to have not shown up for practices, team jam sessions, or celebratory dinners at Beths.

The final straw was during day 107, as the Garages played against the Mexico City Wild Wings. Miguel Wheeler was the last to be incinerated by Hotdogfingers' Unstable attribute, and it chained to beloved player of the Garages, Malik Destiny. An audible scream could be heard from the dugouts of the Garages, attributed to Hotdogfingers. Though Destiny eventually proved safe, Hotdogfingers was determined to see that no one else would suffer at the hands of her pitching.

The Microphone, Refinanced Debt, and the Seattle Shuffle

Not much is known about Hotdogfingers' deal with the mysterious entity known as The Microphone, but a statement was made shortly before season 8 that the Microphone had acquired her debt. Who approached whom is unclear, but Hotdogfingers' return in Season 8 saw a happier, more confident return to form. Hotdogfingers appeared more in control of her bean balls, and they took on a new attribute, Flickering, replacing the devastating effects of Unstable. Hotdogfingers seemed to return to her old self for a spell. However, the pep in her step diminished once the Flickering status of the people she hit started affecting the team. The Garages saw a record 6 players swapped in Season 8 (counting the trade of Luis Acevado and Oliver Notarobot shortly before the start of the season), and on top of the retreat of team staple Mike Townsend into the shadows, Hotdogfingers seemed unsure of herself.

After the events of the Season 8 leaderboard left Hotdogfingers in a state of permanently Flickering, she took the news surprisingly well. When asked about her thoughts on the matter, she had this to say.

"These last few seasons have been... a lot, as you can imagine. The team doesn't feel the same to me now. Nothing really feels the same. So, maybe instead of trying to find comfort in a place that is no longer home, it's time I found myself elsewhere. Stretch my legs, see some sights, jam with some new people. The microphone has plans for me, and if that means not incinerating people, I'm going to follow them, best I can. Let's see where this takes me. *laughs* I'm trying to lean into this whole agent of chaos thing, is it working?"

When asked if her moving teams was an attempt to escape her debt collectors, she declined to comment.

Career With the Shoe Thieves

Hotdogfingers transfer to the Charleston Shoe Thieves in Season 9 sparked rumors of conflict within the team, including a rumored physical altercation with teammate Esme Ramsey[4]. Neither player has publicly commented about the incident or about their working relationship more broadly, and when asked about the incident Ramsey responded by taking the reporter's microphone and eating it while maintaining eye contact.

Messages from the Hall

During Season 9 Hotdogfingers began frequently swapping between teams via feedback. While many theorized that this was a method of avoiding her debt collectors, Hotdogfingers claimed that it was her way of traveling to each team to deliver messages from their deceased teammates. She claimed that she needed to do this "before his plan went into effect."

Delivered Messages

Philly Pies

  • Forrest Bookbaby: Told Bookbaby's mother "@PineTomeToddler33737+". This turned out to be the password to Bookbaby's Swiss bank account. Bookbaby's mother used the millions of embezzled funds found within to establish the BookBaby Memorial School of Accounting.
  • Juan Rangel: Relayed a private message to Rangel's godmother the city of Philadelphia.
  • Mickey Woods: Passed along a series of hi-fives to all of Mickey's teammates.

Gallery



  1. The Commissioner [@blaseball] (14 Sep 2020). Tweet - via Twitter
  2. The Commissioner [@Blaseball] (15 Sept 2020) https://twitter.com/blaseball/status/1306013934013607936?s=20
  3. The Microphone [@BlaseballMic] (12 October 2020). "she can have the shares" (Tweet) - via Twitter.
  4. See Citation


Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.