Jaylen Hotdogfingers is a pitcher for the Seattle Garages and was with the team starting and ending with Season 1. Hotdogfingers was an accomplished, four-star pitcher, but is best known for being the first Blaseball player to be incinerated due to fans Opening the Forbidden Book, as well as the first player to be returned to life after incineration.



Official League Records

Debut and Historic Incineration

Hotdogfingers joined the league in Season 1, playing for the Seattle Garages. Hotdogfingers was considered a star player with a pitching stat of ★★★★ .

At the Season 1 Election Results, Hotdogfingers became the first Blaseball player ever incinerated, as well as the only player ever incinerated outside of an active game. This incineration occurred due to The Forbidden Book opening by Decree. Hotdogfingers was seemingly chosen at random, as no part of the decree indicates that it would directly target the Garages or their best pitcher.

Idolization and Resurrection

In Season 6, following the introduction of the Idols leaderboard, Hotdogfingers began to climb the idol rankings to the #14 position, despite belonging to Null Team.

Jaylen14Null.jpeg

Many fans coordinated to keep Hotdogfingers in the #14 position for several days; specifically in order to exploit the Season 6 blessing called Lottery Pick, which would "steal the 14th Most Idolized Player in the League." This plan worked as expected, with Hotdogfingers returning from incineration to become a full-fledged player in the Garages' pitching rotation. Meanwhile, Mike Townsend left the active rotation and "RETREAT[ED] TO SHADOWS." Hotdogfingers gained the modifications Returned and Debted, as well as the unique pregame ritual, "Checking their pulse," foreshadowing a terrible cost to bringing them back.

Return to Blaseball

On Season 7, Day 5, Hotdogfingers stepped up to the mound for the first time since their return from The Void. In their first game against the Kansas City Breath Mints, they hit three batters with their pitching — Dickerson Morse, Stew Briggs, and Marquez Clark — giving them the Weekly-duration modification Unstable, which was unknown at the time. After the game ended, The Commissioner tweeted "PAYMENTS PENDING"[1], implying that this is how they will pay off the cost of being returned to the land of the living. Hotdogfingers continued to hit batters while they are on the mound during Season 7, the full list of which can be seen on the Hit by Pitch table.

Debt Payment

On Season 7, Day 32, in the Tigers vs. Moist Talkers game, a chain of incinerations occurred directly related to the Unstable modification spread to players by Hotdogfingers. Earlier, on Day 30, Hotdogfingers had hit Moody Cookbook and Mclaughlin Scorpler with pitches. Cookbook was the first player incinerated in the Day 32 game. At this point, Unstable spread to Elijah Bates, and revealed the function of Unstable, which causes players to have a much higher chance of being incinerated during a Solar Eclipse. Bates was incinerated next, spreading Unstable to Yazmin Mason. A second chain started with Scorpler, who was incinerated and passed Unstable to Antonio Wallace.

After this unusually fiery game, The Commissioner tweeted once more, this time saying "PAYMENT PROCESSED//OUTSTANDING BALANCE"[2], indicating that the incineration of Unstable players is the price of returning Jaylen Hotdogfingers from the void.

Personal Life

COMMUNITY LORE

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Jaylen Hotdogfingers was the former mayor of both Seattle and Dark-Seattle, as well as trumpet player for the Seattle Garages Big Bops Band, and whistleblower involved in the Partytime Papers. Her incineration has made her the only mayor in Seattle history who did not finish their term due to a splorts-related incident rather than a terrible political scandal. Unlike the other instances of incineration, Hotdogfingers' loss was not caused by the direct intervention of an Umpire. Her final words were, "We just gotta make it to the playoffs."

Reelection Campaign

Poster advocating for the return of Hotdogfingers, by @Spiral_Joe

With the advent of idols in Season 6, a group referring to itself as the "Mayor Hotdogfingers Reelection Campaign" has been steadily growing in size and influence. Akin to a cult, their goal is to exploit the rules of particular Blaseball blessings to return Hotdogfingers from the great unknown. While Hotdogfingers is most beloved by Garages fans, members of the Reelection Campaign suprisingly hail from blaseball fandoms across the land. Whether these other fans seek a new mayor for their own city, or merely crave chaos, is unclear at this time.

Reelection is a taboo subject among Garages fans for a variety of reasons: While Hotdogfingers has many die-hards among fans who are eager to bring her back, many still are opposed. Detractors fear what strange powers she would bring back from the afterlife, what repercussions the Garages would invite from tampering with forbidden powers, or simply because "polite" Seattle society tends to frown upon the practice of necromancy (blaseball-related or otherwise). Fellow Garages pitcher and occultist Ron Monstera warned in an interview to Splorts Illustrated that "the gates of Valhalla only open when Ragnarok is upon us, which is why it is safer to alter the timeline so that she never died at all."

As of Day 37 of Season 6, it seemed clear that the Reelection Campaign's plans are proceeding swiftly, and Hotdogfingers will indeed be crowned mayor once again soon. Mayor of what, exactly, is anyone's guess.


The Return

On the day of the Season 6 Elections, the remaining original members of the Season 1 Seattle Garages, aided by key players from both the Canada Moist Talkers and Yellowstone Magic, gathered in Seattle in order to enact a ritual they had devised based on discoveries made in the wake of Caligula Lotus' near-incineration. Taking advantage of the Idolatry present by the Jaylen Hotdogfingers Re-Election Campaign, they conducted a ritual on the pitcher's mound of the Garages' home stadium, The Big Garage.

In doing so, a colossal portal to the Void - a liminal, empty, endless space - was opened. Immediately, the Seattle Garages members tasked Mooney Doctor of the Canada Moist Talkers and Francisco Preston of the Yellowstone Magic in holding the portal open as they drove a tour bus into the Void to rescue Hotdogfingers.

Mooney Doctor and Francisco Preston assisting in the ritual, by @Spiral_Joe

What happened next to the Seattle Garages has been the topic of much speculation. When asked, they could not directly confirm many major details of their voyage. "Here's the thing about the Void." Seattle Garages' occultic expert Ron Monstera said in the aftermath. "It's a real [mess]ed up place. None of us who went in there really know what the hell was going on after we crossed the threshold."

Other members of the team corroborate Monstera's reports on the subject, as none can clearly remember exactly what happened once they entered the Void, and what they do remember is, at best, conflicting, with the exception of Arturo Huerta's account. Huerta's account has since been lost due to an unforeseen error with the recording equipment, but Monstera's own remarks on Huerta's verbal recollection of events were "Yeah, that sounds right."

Nevertheless, some amount of time later, the van returned with all members intact, chased by flame and ash, and once the van was stopped, pitcher Mike Townsend was seen exiting, carrying a massive egg. When set down on the pitcher's mound, the egg cracked and hatched, revealing the once-incinerated Jaylen Hotdogfingers.

After being given the medical green-light to see others, and to play in the upcoming season of Blaseball, Hotdogfingers had this to say in the wake of her return:

"How it feels to be home? So we're starting with the loaded questions right of the bat. Cool. Uh, well it feels weird. You know how sometimes when you're half asleep your dream keeps going but you're aware of your surroundings? It feels like that. It feels like life is going on around me and I'm there, but not all the way. Like I could slip into somewhere else any second. It's scary sometimes. I keep taking my pulse. I feel like I should be a ghost. Im sorry... is this real? I... can't tell anymore."

The interview was then cut short by Acting Seattle Garages Captain Theodore Duende, but batter Lang Richardson stopped to comment afterwards. "Well, 'swounds, of course she's still reeling from the emotional turmoil of it all! We love Jaylen with all our heart, and I know she still loves us. Twoud be aghast to think she'd come back all smiles and sunshine. I'm sure she'll get there in time, but that, ultimately, is what she needs: time."


Gallery



  1. The Commissioner [@blaseball] (14 Sep 2020). Tweet - via Twitter
  2. The Commissioner [@Blaseball] (15 Sept 2020) https://twitter.com/blaseball/status/1306013934013607936?s=20



Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.