Paula Turnip is a lineup player for the Seattle Garages.

Official League Records

Turnip joined the league with the Hades Tigers during game 2 of the Season 3 Internet Series (Day 110), replacing fan-favorite Landry Violence due to incineration.

During game 1 of the Season 4 semifinals against the Breckenridge Jazz Hands, Turnip achieved the rare feat of scoring a run without a single hit by being walked and then stealing second, third, and home before the next at-bat ended.

Turnip joined the Seattle Garages on Season 8, Day 71 due to a feedback swap with Paula Mason.


COMMUNITY LORE

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

History

Paula Turnip is a bog dryad and "legitimate businesswoman." She is the only daughter of Christafiore "The Sprout" Turnip, matriarch of the Turnip crime family. She grew up in Elsyium, where she was a childhood friend of Yazmin Mason. The two had a falling out at some point, which Paula has refused to comment on and Yazmin only states was due to "unethical business practices."

Before her possession and eventual conscription into Blaseball, Paula Turnip could be found sailing between islands on the river Styx peddling her eponymous turnips as well as Hades pomegranates. Her claims about the health benefits and market value of said turnips were dubious at best. The body doubles her mother hired to protect her allow Paula to seemingly appear in multiple places at once.

For her part Christafiore Turnip has eagerly encouraged her daughter's Blaseball career. "Little Paula was always better at stealing hearts than money," she says. Hades Tigers games are mandatory viewing for Turnip family members, under penalty of pruning.

Recruitment into the Tigers

After walking into the field at the beginning of Game 2 in the finals of Season 3, she became the final host for Landry Violence before his tragic incineration, during which Landry sacrificed himself to save her life. In that moment, she says, the energy of Violence flowed through her. Vowing to avenge him, Turnip picked up Landry's bat, screamed "Violence begets violence!" and immediately tried to steal third. This proved to the rest of the team that she really was a Tiger, and they accepted her with open arms -- including Yazmin Mason, who agreed to put their past aside in the pursuit of Violence.

The fire of incineration seared a braise of Landry's iconic jacket patch into her back. Turnip says she wears it as a badge of honor in her quest to carry on the works of Violence. The brand smolders eternally, never spreading nor causing her pain; its luminous embers matched by the fiery conviction in Turnip's eyes.

Paula still sells turnips under a pseudonym during the off-season, mostly as an excuse to shamelessly flirt with customers. Her girlfriends can always be found in the stands at Tigers games supporting her. Paula has said that Landry's sacrifice affected her deeply, causing her to reconsider her life choices and making her "much more anticapitalist." She has since dropped many of her more dubious business practices, and now runs the turnip shop as a co-op.

Shortly after season 3, Paula gave an interview with Hades-centered sports website The Phlegethon.[1]

Personal Life

During the Extended Siesta, Paula partook in grief counseling to reckon with the sacrifice of Violence, and afterwards channeled her passions into the Blaseball Players’ Union. There, she became president and began to openly call to stop the rogue umpires, which has earned her a rocky relationship with the Commissioner.[1][2]

Over the course of her blaseball career, Paula became close to Hades Tigers' team captain Moody Cookbook, eventually growing to consider them family. After their incineration on Day 32 of Season 7, she vowed to play the rest of the season in their honor. During the remaining season, Paula put up career bests in batting average, plate appearances, triples hit, stolen bases, and more.[1]

Gallery



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