Official League Records
On Day 8 of Season 3, Haley consumed a stray peanut and had an allergic reaction. Haley's hitting rank dropped from ★★½ to ★
| COMMUNITY LORE|
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
Simon was voted ILB Rookie of the Year by fan vote at the end of Season 2. They are the first player to receive this award.
Haley came down to the Moist Talkers from on high after Trevino Merritt's incineration, and was chosen to take Merrit's place after they displayed much of the same batting and running prowess as their predecessor had.
After his unfortunate peanut reaction in Season 3, Haley founded the Anti-Peanut Alliance and devoted himself to it. After the Season 9 playoffs, the Alliance began creating fliers proclaiming "Top 10 Anti-Peanut Tips For The Upcoming Battle Against God" and posting advice in a similar vein online. Following the fall of the Shelled One, Haley is quoted saying "I'm just proud I could do my part to help." When asked what the Alliance would do next, Haley responded that "we may branch out to herald the defeat of other corrupt gods, but as of now we're back to fighting against the evils of the common nut. Did you know over 60% of ILB players are allergic?"
On their swap to the Charleston Shoe Thieves, Haley told reporters that they quickly slotted into the team's dynamic, in part due to pamphlets printed up by former teammate Lachlan Shelton to help former Talkers adapt to their new environment. Teammate Howell Franklin commented that "When you first talk to Simon, she seems like such a shy little thing. But when she opens up? Absolute chaos. She just wants to yell. I respect that immensely." The two appear to be friends in some capacity as, after the season 10 game in which Haley hit the ILB's first ever recorded pentaslam, Franklin reportedly lifted her onto their shoulders and did a lap around the field while Haley emitted whoops of delight.
- Haley's birthday is July 12, 1986
- She is a Type 1 Diabetic and has an insulin pump
- Their favourite skittles are the green ones