Tillman Henderson is a pitcher for the Charleston Shoe Thieves. Tillman joined the team at the conclusion of the Season 10 regular season. Tillman previously played for the Baltimore Crabs.


Official League Records

Henderson joined the ILB as a member of the Baltimore Crabs at the beginning of Season 1.

During the Season 4 election, Henderson swapped positions from pitcher to lineup player as a result of the Mutual Aid blessing.

During the Season 5 election, Henderson received boosts in all ratings as well as a boost in baserunning as a part of the Crabs' Horde Hallucinations and Rollback Netcode blessings.

On Season 7, Day 74, Henderson siphoned some of Miguel James' baserunning ability.

Henderson was incinerated on Season 9, Day 64, and replaced by Silvaire Roadhouse. Tillman returned to Active status following an idol board-related feedback swap with Jaylen Hotdogfingers after the Season 10 regular season concluded.


In the Season 10 elections, Henderson received Noise-Cancelling Headphones, becoming Soundproof.



COMMUNITY LORE

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Interdimensional Rumor Mill

The IRM randomly chooses one backstory of many written by the Blaseball community when the page is loaded. To read all about the Interdimensional Rumor Mill, visit Interdimensional Rumor Mill. If you would like to edit this entry, click IF-62.79, or if you would like to see a list of all Rumors for this player, click Rumor Registry.

Henderson is just a terrible person. He sucks. Nobody likes him.

He got a spot in the pitching roster because his father, Thrillman J. Henderson, was a hedge fund manager who recommended an accountant with questionable methods to the Crabs' Chief Financial Officer.

His father, always off on business trips or playing glolf, delegated all affection for his son through a paycheck. Starved for attention, armed with financial wherewithal, and sheltered from human decency, Tillman has doubled down again and again on bastard behavior and sustained himself on the ire of his peers because "all publicity is good publicity," which is a really weird way to respond to your friend accusing you of finishing all the milk and then putting the empty carton back in the fridge.

He is not a Baltimore native, and frequently leaves the Crabitat to vacation at his father's summer homes when he is not pitching a game. He has stated several times that he "cannot be killed" by the rogue umpires, but he may in fact be bribing them to keep from being incinerated. He has a matching arm tattoo with Kennedy Loser.

Baltimore

Tillman Henderson has been the greatest lesson in boundary recognition and reinforcement the Crabs have ever had, with the exception of Kennedy Loser who is cursed with the urge to check in on all his teammates.

Tillman Henderson craves validation with desperation, and hangs onto Kennedy Loser's every word like a sad puppy and he sucks at hiding it. He knows that Ken is his best friend but that he is not Ken's best friend and he tries really hard not to think about it. Nobody on the team will ever admit a single positive thing about Tillman Henderson on fear that it would reach him and he would lord it over them until he died. They would later find out that even dying doesn't stop him from doing that.

Since joining the Internet League and getting exposed to somewhat decent people, any improvements in behavior have not been noted. However, Tillman is not actually genuinely bad enough to warrant kicking from the team, especially once the entire city of Baltimore collectively learned what buttons to push to keep him within tolerance levels. However, some new really low prank or get-rich-quick scheme (he is already rich??) is always brewing up in his head and any lull in behavior is just cause for paranoia.

Tillman Henderson has admitted to doing so many stupid things that at this point nobody is sure what is or isn't true about him anymore. Combined with the sense that he's always about to pull something, Baltimore residents have taken up blaming him for just about anything and everything that happens in their day to day lives, and most of the time, they're right.

Cloning Facility And Extended Siesta

During the extended siesta, Tillman discovered a large group of much nicer Tillman clones living in the woods of Maryland, having escaped from the Henderson Cloning Facility and built a life for themselves in the forest. Tillman hired a pirate physicist to create a quantum field interdimensional transporter, transported himself to another dimension with higher technology, and hired another pirate physicist with more advanced technology to create a hyperquantum interdimensional pocket universe entangler, which he used to send the nice Tillman clones to a pocket universe, eliminating any chance of escaping incineration in the process.

Tillman also tried growing a soul patch during the extended siesta.

Incineration

Conflicting reports abound, despite thousands of witnesses in the stands. Some report Tillman flipping off the umpire with one hand and flipping off the fans with another. Some report Tillman pleading in the face of his mortality for the first time. Some report him getting up close and shouting at the umps, last words: "what are you gonna do, incinerate me?" Only one thing felt for certain: if he ever comes back, it would inflate his ego in the worst way.

Rumors were afloat that Henderson made a deal with the umpires to exchange his life for Nagomi Mcdaniel's freedom, after his one and only conversation with the Mother Crab. Tillman would tell you those rumors are true because they sound like a pretty cool thing to have done and that just makes them feel all the less believable. Nagomi was one of the few members of the Crabs who openly loathed Tillman, often leaving the room whenever he would walk in, and declined to comment when pressed, but a sneer makes for an awful poker face.

Personal Life

Tillman Henderson is the worst person in the entire splort of Blaseball with an effortless heel persona. Put simply, he sucks. Truly reprehensible. Absolute wasteman. No time for this clown.

Despite the fact that Henderson's multiple regular traffic offenses continue to be paid off by his wealthy parents, his mother, Harmony H. Henderson, did not attend his first funeral due to a scheduling conflict. Henderson never fetches his own balls and is frequently late to practice, primarily due to arguing about his height on his own Wikipedia page. Tillman is very above average height and definitely not short at all <----- this was definitely not written by Tillman. An anonymous former teammate describes Henderson as "a wellspring of insecurity."

Henderson has been regularly described as "intolerable," yet somehow, former teammate Kennedy Loser has been seen tolerating Henderson at length, and the two have matching arm tattoos. Similarly, Henderson's motorbike has a sidecar that is regularly occupied by former teammate Tot Fox. Since joining the Charleston Shoe Thieves, a second sidecar for teammate Gunther O'Brian has been attached. When asked, Henderson claims that the sidecars are employed to better allow him to "cause a f*ckus with the boyz." While he is occasionally seen with teammate Stu Trololol as well, manager Cornelius Games has commented that "those two absolutely cannot be together for more than five minutes or I swear to God the insufferable aura they generate will cause a category 5 hurricane of irritation." The veracity of this claim has yet to be tested.

He is not a Baltimore native and, when playing for the Crabs, he frequently left the Crabitat while not pitching a game to vacation at his father's summer homes. This behavior did not change when he became a batter, but the commute left him much crankier. Prior to season 9, Tillman stated several times on record that he "cannot be killed" by the rogue umpires. These statements are now on record as notably false.

Post resurrection, his parents commented that his legally dead status made it both complicated and unprofitable for them to continue to support (or remain in contact with) their son. When asked for a response as to how this will affect his extravagant lifestyle or emotional wellbeing, Tillman commented that "emotions are cringe and I'm like. The opposite of cringe." The statement was muffled by what appeared to be a mouth full of cold poptart.

Henderson specializes in stealing socks.

Relationship With Declan Suzanne

Henderson and Declan Suzanne of the Chicago Firefighters also seem to have grown together since the Crabs/Firefighters Dodecaseries of Season 8. Baltimore residents reported sightings of the two holding hands in Fells Point together after a game, while an anonymous source close to the Firefighters has claimed that Henderson and Suzanne "make out in Declan's El Camino after every Chiclawgo series" and declared this to be "really ****** annoying." When asked, Henderson commented "Can't homies kiss as homies? Can't you make out with your bro as friends platonically?" Suzanne echoed these statements, saying "Yeah, what's gay about tenderly kissing your bro goodnight every night and holding him so so close?" Chicago tabloid The Deep Dish has launched an ongoing investigation into Henderson and Suzanne's relationship, deeming it "highly confusing" and "steeped in too many layers of irony to decipher".


A Selection of Tillman Henderson's Character Traits

Tillman Henderson claims he faked his own death as "a prank, bro" despite the fact that he absolutely did die for real.

(To see a new character trait, refresh the page.)

Edit History

  • Last edited by 69HendersonHater69 on 8/4/2020
  • Edited by CrabsLoreBard on 8/4/2020 (Comment: i give up)
  • Edited by 69HendersonHater69 on 8/4/2020
  • Edited by CrabsLoreBard on 8/2/2020 (Comment: STOP VANDALIZING THIS PAGE)
  • Edited by TillmanSux87 on 8/1/2020
  • Edited by CrabsLoreBard on 7/31/2020 (Comment: Banned)
  • Edited by SteakNShake on 7/30/2020 (Comment: hahahaha screw tillman)
  • Page created by CrabsLoreBard on 7/20/2020

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